Turn the page
by Heavy Metal Queen
Summary: Jeff Hardy songfic...Jeff heads home


( Everything in italics was written and performed by Bob Seger. No copyright infringement meant. Please dont sue. )  
  
On a long and lonesome highway  
  
East of Omaha  
  
You can listen to the engine  
  
moanin' out his one note song  
  
Jeff sat silently on the bus, staring out the window, watching the pavement roll by like a sea of asphalt. His arms were crossed tightly around him, turning him away from the world. He wanted no part now as he slipped into his own world, trying to forget the aches that burdened his body...and his soul.  
  
You can think about the woman  
  
or the girl you knew the night before  
  
But your thoughts will soon be wandering  
  
the way they always do  
  
When you're ridin' sixteen hours  
  
and there's nothin' much to do  
  
And you don't feel much like ridin',  
  
you just wish the trip was through  
  
He didnt even want to think of....hell, he couldnt even remember the groupies name. They were all faceless to him. A cheap fuck and a way to forget, at leats for a little bit. Another way to drown his sorrows, and this one didnt come with a bad taste in his mouth and a killer headache in the morning.  
  
Here I am  
  
On the road again  
  
There I am  
  
Up on the stage  
  
Here I go  
  
Playin' star again  
  
There I go  
  
Turn the page  
  
It had been too long. Far too long to stay away from home...and from her. He didnt even want to think about the consequences he would face when he stepped in the door, but anything was better than this revolving door hell he seemed to be trapped in. He curled into a tighter ball inside the heavy starter jacket, trying to lose himself in memories of a time where he didnt have to deal with the addiciton, or his actions that came with the addiction.  
  
Well you walk into a restaurant,  
  
strung out from the road  
  
He stepped off the bus, to stretch his legs and catch a bite to eat. Anything to be off the forskaen bus, even just for a few moments. He felt dizzy and sick, so he sheltered himself from the bitter air and hurried into the small diner.  
  
And you feel the eyes upon you  
  
as you're shakin' off the cold  
  
You pretend it doesn't bother you  
  
but you just want to explode  
  
He tires to ignore the eyes as he slips into a booth, the waitress, sneering at him with a look of contempt that was bordering on 'holier than thou' rushing off without even a word to say she had his order. Not that he minded. It never seemed to matter, no matter where he went, the people always managed to be exactly the same. Faceless.  
  
Most times you can't hear 'em talk,  
  
other times you can  
  
All the same old cliches,  
  
"Is that a woman or a man?"  
  
And you always seem outnumbered,  
  
you don't dare make a stand  
  
The whispers are already rounding their way throughout the smalltown diner. These people were like bees, nosy and always buzzing annoyingly. They never seem to leave him alone. He wondered how long it would take, but finally he heard it, the first drunken slurr of "faggot". He had to will himself to hold his tongue, and his temper. Thats what got him into this mess, wasnt it?  
  
Here I am  
  
On the road again  
  
There I am  
  
Up on the stage  
  
Here I go  
  
Playin' star again  
  
There I go  
  
Turn the page  
  
" I dont have to listen to you assholes! I'm a fucking superstar! You can all kiss my ass. Intervention, pah! This is total BULSHIT!! And you..." He winces, remembering back to the gentle faces of his friends as they tried to help him, tried to throw him a lifeline. But no, he was too proud, too sure of himself to need anyone's help.  
  
Out there in the spotlight  
  
you're a million miles away  
  
Every ounce of energy  
  
you try to give away  
  
As the sweat pours out your body  
  
like the music that you play  
  
It was after that very intervention that he went on the bender that truly ruined his life. Sex, booze and every kind of drug imagineable became his escape, his way to get away from the rage building in his heart. He was scared that he would hurt someone again, like he did her...  
  
Later in the evening  
  
as you lie awake in bed  
  
With the echoes from the amplifiers  
  
ringin' in your head  
  
You smoke the day's last cigarette,  
  
rememberin' what she said  
  
" And you...you little bitch!" He had flew across the room before anyone could respond, his fist connecting solidly with her face. It wasnt the fact that he had hit her that bothered him so much, it was the look, the pain that he had put deep in her eyes that sent his world crashing down. All she did was sit there and cry. Didnt yell, didnt scream, didnt fight, she just watched him with big, teary eyes.  
  
Here I am  
  
On the road again  
  
There I am  
  
Up on the stage  
  
Here I go  
  
Playin' star again  
  
There I go  
  
Turn the page  
  
My breath catches in my throat as I see her settled in the armchair on the porch, reading a book. My heart nearly rips itself in two as I notice, the tiny hairline scar settled just below the apple of her cheek. For a moment, I'm completely overwhelmed with panic and all I want to do is run. But then, she looks up and me and sets the book down, coming to open the screen door. Instantly I start into babbling apologies, all of which she shrugs off as she gently touches my cheek with her fingers. " Jeff..."  
  
Here I am  
  
On the road again  
  
There I am  
  
Up on the stage  
  
Here I go  
  
Playin' star again  
  
There I go  
  
There I go 


End file.
